Thanks for this post. It resonates with me deeply. I grew up in a leftist home, was an atheist, converted hard in my early twenties, failed to financially support myself, interpreted all these signs that God was calling me to become a priest, became a Carmelite friar, and by my mid-30's... it all dissipated. I don't care about religion anymore. I'm still a friar, teaching theology in a Catholic high school, but I'm grateful to go home to my unit in a townhome (a few retired priests live above me) and just be myself. It's odd, having to play a public persona. I admire your position to be able to say these things publicly. I think there is a problem with "identity" in modern society. We're so lost and confused, without fulfilling social roles, and cultural communities that incubate normal fulfillment, so we try on these persona hoping they will solve the problem. LARPs can only last so long. I sympathize greatly with de-transitioners, and I encourage any deconverting Christians to sympathize and speculate about our similarities. Cheers. I enjoy the podcast.
I can relate to this. Lately I was feeling there's a kind of pitiful or even comical pathos to being a permanent spiritual seeker. The kind of thing that Xavier Renegade Angel makes fun of.
Surely someone who is so thirsty for wisdom must be lacking wisdom in some unusually extensive and painful way.
I tried to be Catholic for a while, but I ended up burning out, because I never felt anything. But I didn't simply revert to my past self. I believe in God now, but religion's a mystery. I don't get how it makes anyone feel anything. I'm sold on some psychoanalytical ideas, but as a corollary to them, I guess, I can also see more clearly now what I should've seen the first time: the proof of truth is in the kind of happiness it gives after performing certain actions. Actual truth leads to realization, actual results.
That is the true teaching, the one that actually leads to joy. Thinking without any action at the end of it is an epiphenomenon. Even if you know the truth, your actions and feelings, and your soul, might be all wrong.
Thanks for this post. It resonates with me deeply. I grew up in a leftist home, was an atheist, converted hard in my early twenties, failed to financially support myself, interpreted all these signs that God was calling me to become a priest, became a Carmelite friar, and by my mid-30's... it all dissipated. I don't care about religion anymore. I'm still a friar, teaching theology in a Catholic high school, but I'm grateful to go home to my unit in a townhome (a few retired priests live above me) and just be myself. It's odd, having to play a public persona. I admire your position to be able to say these things publicly. I think there is a problem with "identity" in modern society. We're so lost and confused, without fulfilling social roles, and cultural communities that incubate normal fulfillment, so we try on these persona hoping they will solve the problem. LARPs can only last so long. I sympathize greatly with de-transitioners, and I encourage any deconverting Christians to sympathize and speculate about our similarities. Cheers. I enjoy the podcast.
I can relate to this. Lately I was feeling there's a kind of pitiful or even comical pathos to being a permanent spiritual seeker. The kind of thing that Xavier Renegade Angel makes fun of.
Surely someone who is so thirsty for wisdom must be lacking wisdom in some unusually extensive and painful way.
I tried to be Catholic for a while, but I ended up burning out, because I never felt anything. But I didn't simply revert to my past self. I believe in God now, but religion's a mystery. I don't get how it makes anyone feel anything. I'm sold on some psychoanalytical ideas, but as a corollary to them, I guess, I can also see more clearly now what I should've seen the first time: the proof of truth is in the kind of happiness it gives after performing certain actions. Actual truth leads to realization, actual results.
That is the true teaching, the one that actually leads to joy. Thinking without any action at the end of it is an epiphenomenon. Even if you know the truth, your actions and feelings, and your soul, might be all wrong.
Personally id be unhappy if I lived in the UK. Place is going to shit. I dont think thats the reason youre unhappy though.